I think it was Garfield the cat who once said the best way to look thin is to spend time with people fatter than yourself.
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I recently discovered this was true.
I had just seen a video of myself dancing badly, and was dismayed at the oddly misshapen appearance of my body.
It left me feeling more than a little perturbed, until I got into an elevator a few minutes later and discovered all the occupants carried much more weight than I.
And while that provided a bit of relief and boosted my flagging spirits, I quickly realised the people in the lifts were all hard working individuals who had devoted their lives to creating homes, raising families and building communities.
And then the epiphany hit me - real men don't have those visible abdominal muscles often described as the famed - but possibly mythical - six-pack.
No, real men spend their time playing with their children, paying attention to their spouses, coaching or managing junior sports teams to ensure their youngsters have options and opportunities, mowing lawns, cooking meals, and doing the million other things needed to help keep homes, families and communities functioning.
With all that happening, real men don't have the time to spend on vain pursuits like getting body fat content low enough for abdominal muscles to become obvious.
Sue, maybe some of us had time for those sort of foolish and selfish pursuits when we were young, and we had the time to focus only on ourselves.
But for most of us that was a lifetime ago, and if you're anything like me you're too damn busy, too tired and too unmotivated to ever again bother with such things.
And yet the images are all around us - setting impossible standards by which men are judged in much the same way that woman have long been expected to meet unrealistic beauty standards.
So the thoughts stick in our heads - maybe, just maybe this coming year ...
No, I think the only way am ever going to have a six-pack is if I follow the example of former Geelong mayor and paparazzi photographer Darren Lyons, who many years ago went for cosmetic surgery to have artificial abdominal muscles inserted over this expanding midriff.
