What’s the perfect Christmas present?

In days gone by the answer would have been clothes, shoes, handbags, sunglasses, belts, wallets, and the list was never ending.

But I’ve since come to realise that I am fairly picky when it comes to what I wear.

Besides that at the moment I have no kids, and we have no mortgage (both are things that are about to change - scary but true), so I’ve been selfishly able to justify buying myself most of the things I think I need.

Unfortunately I had a reality check last week and the spending spree I’ve been so happily on for the past couple of years is coming to an end.

But, I digress. On the topic of Christmas presents my editor had a brainwave last year (it happens occasionally).

She opted out of materialistic presents, choosing to give “experiences” instead.

And, I think she might be on to something.

“Things” you can buy for yourself but “experiences” are harder to justify.

For me, there’s nothing quite like a massage, facial, any type of treatment really, I’m in bliss.

I treat myself when on holiday - our Thailand honeymoon was a 10-day pamper treat!

But closer to home I find it hard to justify. Sure, I get a wax (ouch) or a quick massage if something hurts (good pain). But rarely do I book-in to simply switch off.

For me, that would be the perfect gift (too bad I already asked Santa for a laptop, maybe I’ll get another nice surprise under the tree to go with it?).

I followed this theory for my husband’s present last year, and purchased tickets to AC/DC. It was a hit, and we had a great night together which made it all the more special.

My editor on the other hand booked her nearest and dearest in to go diving with the seals off Montague Island. Seals? Sharks more likely! Methinks her kids might have been a little naughty last year!

With JOSH GIDNEY

Garth Wood provided a large portion of Australia’s population with the perfect Christmas present when he put megamouth Anthony Mundine on his bum in last week’s boxing match.

Wood is a former Rabbitohs footballer, so the fact that he used to wear red and green on the football field and wore red, green and white shorts when he decked The Man made him all the more Santa Claus-ish.

Strangely enough, Mundine himself played a part in the

delivery of the best Christmas present of 2010 when he helped con Greg Inglis out of signing with Brisbane and joining the Rabbitohs. The NRL are doing what they can to stop Santa’s sleigh from getting to Redfern, but hopefully he’ll be under the Bunnies’ tree on December 25.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit unfair the way he shafted Brisbane?” I hear you ask.

Well, I’ve got two responses to that: 1. Who cares? It’s Brisbane and 2. He who robs a thief gets a thousand pardons.

We all know it’s just a promotion for Russell Crowe’s forthcoming DVD release of Robin Hood (rob the rich, give to the poor, boom-tish) but bring it on anyway.

For me the best Christmas present would be Robert Mugabe’s phone number.

“Hello Robert. Did you know that the US Geological survey has discovered massive oil deposits in Zimbabwe? Did somebody say “Regime Change?”. Then I would listen to him dropping dead on the other end of the line, hang up and make similar calls to the leaders of Burma and North Korea for all the festive cheer a boy could want.

Another ideal present would be a ban on South Africans playing for the English cricket team. This could even be enough for us to save the Ashes, and shut Tony Greig up forever.

Shane Warne may have retired from cricket but clearly not from womanising, and didn’t he provide Australia with a great present when he locked lips with luscious Liz Hurley?

There was the ball that got Richie Richardson in the 1992-93 Test series, the ball that got Mike Gatting in the 1993 Ashes series and now this for his ultimate hat-trick.

He’s even managed to impress She Said over here, and that ain’t easy....

Next week: What was the best Christmas movie ever made?