A South Coast woman has described the "war horror movie" that is life in Italy under lockdown .. and her victory over depression. Claudia Ferguson reports:
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
After spending most of the year in lockdown overseas, Raquel Brown is more than ready to return to her Eurobodalla Shire home.
The Narooma 31-year-old has been surviving the pandemic with little work and constant uncertainty in Milan, Europe's "epicentre" of coronavirus.
Her parents, Lindsay and Lyn Brown, were relieved to book her a flight for December 3, but Raquel remains anxious.
"I am packed, but I am realistic ... flights are getting cancelled."
Raquel said there were two flights per week from Milan to Australia. It has been far from her imagined Italian experience, hoping to teach for the year.
It has been a roller coaster for Raquel and her parents. Her father is a Eurobodalla Shire Councillor and said at first it was a relief to send her off, as bushfires loomed in December 2019.
"We thought we could get her overseas, away from all the danger and the smoke, and have a wonderful experience living in Italy for 12 months - COVID wasn't even on our radar," Cr Brown said.
Only days after arriving in Milan, Raquel watched Australia on fire online - and remains emotional.
"I saw we had lost Mogo, and Cobargo," she said, with tears falling during our video interview.
Moruya relatives fled to the beach, but her uncle stayed to defend. Her parents could receive her messages, but not reply.
"We knew more about what was happening in the bushfire from what she was sending me from the other side of the world, because we had no TV or telecommunications at the time," Cr Brown said.
Raquel was jet lagged, distressed and obsessively watching the Fires Near Me app.
"I got a message from mum and dad saying they were packing the kayaks and 'was there anything I would like them to take?'," Raquel said.
"Everybody fleeing Narooma had already left and they were committed on staying. I didn't hear from them after that; they lost power and had no internet."
Her father was helping run the evacuation centre at Narooma, where thousands had fled. "I kept checking Facebook, Narooma News and Fires Near Me to make sure they were safe and see what was going on," she said. "It was very stressful."
Cr Brown said "the whole situation flipped in a matter of weeks". He was hearing headlines that Milan was the epicentre of coronavirus in Europe: "There were chaotic scenes on TV where people were fleeing, and lockdown police stopping people from getting around."
Raquel reassured her parents she was safe: "I don't think COVID is even close in comparison to the stress of the bushfires."
It was a different story for her parents.
"She is an only child, she is all we got," Cr Brown said.
"As a single girl travelling on her own - you hear of the horror stories."
They had booked a seven-week holiday to visit Raquel in May, but hope instead to welcome her home.
Raquel's original plan to gain primary school teaching work fell through at the start of lockdown.
"The schools were closed for seven months," she said.
"I didn't have the chance to get a job (or) to get my resident's permit because the police stations were closed."
She did receive her proof of residency until August.
"Every time I left my home, I risked getting a 3000 euro dollar fine," she said.
"I would only go to the grocery stores once every three weeks to buy food."
There was a wait time of almost two hours to enter a supermarket and police guarded the door.
"It was winter and cold, but I would be sweating," she said.
"You had to leave the house with a certificate that proves where you live, where you are going and how long you would be out of the house - you were supposed to print it.
"I didn't have a printer and printing shops were closed. I never left home with the proper documents they demanded - they would fine you 500 euros if you didn't have these documents.
"I felt I was in some horror war movie, police were patrolling, keeping you inside - you weren't allowed to see friends or family.
"I was like, 'shit just got real'.
"Everything was closed - you could only go to get groceries, that was it."
Raquel said the lockdown took a toll on her mental health. Her only motivation was an hour-long class she taught online at 5pm.
"The biggest struggle was dragging myself out of bed, I would only get up because I was hungry or needed to go to the toilet," she said.
"There was nothing to get up for - nothing to do and nowhere to go.
"I struggled to sleep; wide awake to 3am, because my body wouldn't turn off from not turning on throughout the day."
Raquel wrote herself some motivational quotes, and decided she needed a routine including exercise.
After three weeks of depressive symptoms, Raquel's housemate helped kick start her mornings.
"Doing workouts before my housemate started work forced me out of bed - it gave me a better structure," Raquel said.
"I ended up doing three workouts a day."
Raquel even took to the stairs of her seven-storey building.
In March, as the global crisis unfolded, she had assessed her options and decided to stay in Italy.
"The Australian government said if you don't leave now, be prepared to make long term plans," she said.
Weighing up her circumstances, she felt better equipped see out the year in Milan. If she was to return home, she had no work, and her father was high-risk immune suppressive.
Flights were also hard to get.
"I thought other people who were stuck over here needed flights more than me," she said.
"I felt if I am going to stay, I need to look after myself, eat well, exercise and be myself - do it properly."
She had no idea what was ahead.
"I thought it would all calm down by December," Raquel laughed.
As the battle for flights intensified and Italy recorded 1.41 million cases and almost 50,000 deaths, her parents became anxious and decided to buy Raquel a flight.
"I was worried she would have trouble getting home; people were getting bumped off planes," Cr Brown said.
To secure a seat, Cr Brown said they needed to purchase a business class ticket.
"The emotional wrench would be so difficult when you are set ready to go and then you have been bumped off the flight," he said.
Stretched for cash, Raquel is grateful for "that little extra guarantee I will get on that plane", but knows nothing is certain.
Raquel's lease has ended, and her visa soon expires.
"You hear horrible things of families living at airports, stranded and devastated their flight has been cancelled - that would be me if the plane doesn't go," she said.
"I would be homeless."
Cr Brown is nervous.
"I have been in contact with the travel agency regularly and we picked an airline that hadn't stopped flying through COVID," Mr Brown said.
"If she misses out, who knows when she will get home."
He watches Italy's COVID statistics daily.
Cr Brown said a big family Christmas was planned after her two-week hotel quarantine in Sydney.
"It will be emotional when we pick her up from that hotel, I can tell you that!" he said.
The trauma of the bushfires and waves of emotions through COVID have made him focus on what matters.
"What's important in life is your family and that they are healthy - that's real wealth," he said.
He felt for those who lost family in the bushfires and almost 1000 Australians who have died from COVID-19.
"That's empty chairs at Christmas for a lot of families," he said.
"We can get lost in the detail, get upset with someone cutting us off when driving, or worry about someone not parking properly in a carpark - or not getting toilet paper."
After spending long hours helping at the evacuation centre during the bushfires, Mr Brown saw hundreds traumatised and struggling to make sense of life and why the disaster was happening.
"We can lose our compass," he said.
Raquel looks forward to freedom. She the rules were intense and Italians turned hostile.
"They used to be so kind, loving and caring and would kiss anybody," she said.
"Now, if your mask had fallen down, instead of smiling at you they would yell at you and get angry.
"I have seen people yell at each other on trams; I thought I was going to witness a brawl one day.
"They don't want to meet you any more, they want to stay away from you."