Australian politics is "merely neurotic", whereas American politics is "fully insane".
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America has "gone completely around the bend," satirist P.J. O'Rourke told the National Press Club in Canberra on Wednesday, shortly after Hillary Clinton formally became the first woman in American history to lead the ticket of a major political party.
Mrs Clinton is not the cause of the madness although she is part of it.
"Our national motto is now WTF," O'Rourke said.
"We started out with but 600 candidates for president. And who were these jacklegs, these highbinders, these swellheads, floor-flushers and animated spitoons thinking they were worthy of America's highest office? Did they take American voters for fools? Of course they did . . . After a while, we managed to narrow the field down to five. Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Now, Cruz, Kasich, Sanders and Clinton and Trump, that is not a list of presidential candidates but the worst law firm in the world."
Not that he blames the politicians. Well, not entirely, not when the American people have indulged in "the most severe case of American mass psychosis since our Salem witch trials in 1692".
O'Rourke explained the psychosis as a response to rapid economic and social change that left many people behind.
Had most people's incomes risen over the years, they would not have cared "how rich the guy down the road is".
But incomes did not rise for many people, leaving them worried and angry.
"People are worried and a worried electorate isn't a wise electorate," O'Rourke noted.
Government, politicians and the elites have become the flashpoint for discontent, O'Rourke explained, driving them towards Donald Trump, a "fool" with "no intelligence or character", whose unpredictability and lack of a plan is truly frightening.
Hillary Clinton is only the "second-worst" thing that could happen to America but, O'Rourke consoles himself, at least if things go wrong on her watch it will be the kind of wrong that is manageable: "With Donald Trump, you just don't know what he's going to do. Who wants to take that chance?"
O'Rourke is in Australia to deliver the Lighthouse Lectures for the Centre of Independent Studies and to headline the Byron Bay Writers' Festival.
His assessment of things back home is that Trump cannot win.
"On paper, Hillary Clinton has to win. But on paper, Donald Trump could not get nominated," O'Rourke pointed out.
He will vote for Clinton against his better judgement, just to do everything he can prevent Trump from reaching the White House.
O'Rourke believes Australia and America are very similar places. Australia is "America with 275 million fewer idiots".
But there is one thing on which the countries differ - gun control.
The owner of "a lot of guns" believes the reason is history.
"We are much bigger and much more violent society than you and we always have been . . . We fought our way across that country. We fought with each other and the Brits. America was born in violence to a much greater extent."
