A week is a long time in magazines when you are The Australian Women's Weekly.
Channel Seven's new recruit, Helen Kapalos, isn't happy with a story about her headed ''Why my marriage failed'' after she requested the mag ''leave the topic alone'' when it was raised as the final question.
She tweeted: ''Please ignore the ridiculous headline on an article about me in the Women's Weekly. #tabloidcrap #setup.'' And her surname appeared as ''Kapolos'' online.
The usually credible magazine detoured to tacky by dwelling on her divorce from Craig Boettcher six years ago, incensing the dignified brunette because a male interviewee wouldn't have received the same treatment.
Writer Michael Sheather eventually mentioned her journalistic credentials but she will not be hosting a revamped Today Tonight after it was merged into a one-hour 6pm bulletin.
Given the Sydney-based mag features a story on the ''anxiety epidemic'', staff are sniffing lavender and frantically searching for an atlas to learn more about the nation.
In a splendid spread on the ''country's top gossip writers'', the six social sleuths dressed to the nines all hail from Coathanger City, but here's some goss: Melbourne and other states also have gossip columnists.
The eight-page spread underwent forensic analysis by Crikey news terrier Andrew Crook, who described it as ''one of the most insufferable puff pieces ever to grace the magazine's innards''.
If the Weekly locates Melbourne yonder, I am happy to be Photoshopped in as a cardboard cutout.
Partying in Lou
Someone had to take one for the team at the Vue de Monde dinner for Peter Hitchener's (pictured above) 40th anniversary with Channel Nine and that was Today show lovely Christine Ahern. She found herself seated next to Sam Newman but was assured of an entertaining running commentary throughout the uplifting evening. Video tributes were played for ''Hitch'' and one was from Wide World of Sports identity Lou Richards, who turns 90 on March 15. Frail but still able to deliver the punchlines, he took a few takes and uttered some beauties to interviewer Tony Jones, such as congratulating Hitchener on his 40 years with the Board of Works. He also expressed his fondness for Jo Hall, saying: ''I'd love to give her one.'' As in a kiss.
The neon lights will be bright on Broadway, as in the road in Reservoir, during the True North festival in March. In the Lounge Room Project, the City of Darebin is urging residents to embrace the suburb's ''cultural awakening'' and create temporary lounge rooms around Edwardes Street and Broadway, so all styles of couches and bean bags are welcome. A big cheerio to local identity and long-time barber Lou Mercadante.
Mark's loving the Lovin
Love matches have been won and lost for sultry American resident Mark Philippoussis, 36, but now he has popped the question to 29-year-old exotic model and actor Silvana Lovin (pictured above). The former tennis player, who lives in San Diego, runs tennis clinics and a T-shirt range called Phlip Apparel, and began dating the beauty last July when she went to the US to spread her modelling and acting wings. Lovin, who commutes from San Diego to LA for auditions, told me: ''We are very happy and excited about the future.'' No date has been set for the wedding and she finds the relationship suits her to a T, adding: ''I wear all his tees and sweatshirts, so they can be unisex.'' Philippoussis still swings a racquet and did so with Sir Richard Branson at his hideaway, Necker Island, in the British Virgin Islands. In his playboy days, Philippoussis was engaged to actor Jennifer Esposito and his (big) little black book bulged with the numbers of Paris Hilton, Delta Goodrem and Tara Reid. While Philippoussis is marvelling at the wonder of Lovin, she has auditioned to be Wonder Woman for a TV series.
It's not fair I get all the red-carpet invitations. Join me on Twitter @suzannecarbone