WITH JOSH GIDNEY
Someone once said that looks aren’t everything, but Lara Bingle has gone a long way towards proving them wrong.
All she’s ever really done is an ad for Australian tourism, where she asked potential tourists “Where the bloody hell are you?”. It apparently didn’t work,
perhaps because it sounded like something your boss might say when he rings you up at home rather than an invitation to a holiday.
She’d make an awesome soccer goalie. With that forehead of hers she could not only block the goal but head the ball into the opposition’s goal.
Time out: I’m not suggesting she’s not attractive, because she is, and as far as fame’s concerned, it seems that’s all that matters.
Her surname sounds like a car crash, and her love life is like a train wreck.
Her forthcoming “reality” show, Being Lara Bingle, will be just like the movie Being John Malkovich. Not.
Apparently it’s going to be like Keeping up with the Kardashians, but at least with the Kardashians, there’s more of them to follow, and they all have different names, different husbands and different parts of their bodies that have been subjected to plastic surgery. People are going to get bored with Being Lara Bingle pretty quickly, especially considering the attention span of those who are likely to tune in.
This was a girl who hooked up with Brendan Fevola, so it will make Jersey Shore look like Homeland.
It will be a show about nothing, but that’s all it will have in common with Seinfeld.
The only good thing that might come out of it is that people will be comforted knowing beautiful famous people suffer, too.
She was on Dancing with the Stars, a show the popularity of which I’ve never been able to fathom. Only a show that made Daryl Somers host could make Bingle a star.
To say her ex, Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke, has moved on would be something of an understatement. He now looks at Lara like the Rabbitohs look at Chris Sandow.
“Who the bloody hell are you? Don’t know, don’t care!”
WITH PAMELA FROST
Who knows?
All I know is that I’m bombarded with her face every time I try to enjoy Masterchef and it’s getting to the point where I find it incredibly annoying.
As the launch of her new television series, Being Lara Bingle, approaches, blogs and news websites have been running hot with comments and questions on why on earth Network 10 officials believe this new reality television show into Lara Bingle’s life will actually work.
I don’t know a single person who believes Bingle is anything special, which is precisely why I think the show might not rate as badly as expected, even if it’s only for a few episodes.
Ms Bingle may not know it, but I think people will tune in just because it’s an opportunity to criticise her even more.
Just take a look at the negativity around the launch of her new show – people are talking about it and how it won’t interest them, yet they take the time to read articles about it.
It is one of the reasons why people watch shows like The Voice or Please Marry My Boy – to criticise the judges and people on it.
Sick on the couch on Sunday, I turned on the TV and was shamefully hooked on a show called True Beauty.
It was just like Next Top Model, except the models were also being filmed without their knowledge to test their “inner beauty”.
Why do people watch this rubbish on television?
To judge, laugh at and criticise people.
It’s shameful but it’s the way reality television works, and I don’t think it’s going to be any different for Lara Bingle.
Her fame seems to come in waves and I think she’s only famous because of the criticism she cops and the naked photos that circulate.
One day, I think (and hope) that Australia will give up caring.